A book about mums who fall between the cracks was inspired by Loretta Chen’s own mother

Oretta Chen is an award-winning director, bestselling author, professor, social activist, and founder of the metaverse architecture and Web3 design agency, Smobler Studios.

She is not a mother. At least, not in the traditional sense.

The topic of motherhood, however, resonates so deeply with her that she has written an entire book on it. There are many different characters in M/OTHER, including a drug offender who spent most of her life in prison, a domestic helper who left her own children to care for others, teenage mothers, single mothers, stepmothers, rape survivors, and mothers with special needs children.

Often defined by their “mistakes” or unfortunate circumstances, they find themselves marginalised, unheard, and unseen. Chen asks us to see them as they truly are, as mothers, in the light of love.

Despite their unique trials, their story is raw, intimate, and deeply personal, written in their own words. What could be more personal, universally, than a mother – the first person to wipe away our tears, kiss our wounds, and always to preserve the best parts of a fish, as well as of themselves?

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO WRITE M/OTHER?

LORETTA CHEN: My mother is 85 years old and has triumphed over a brain tumour. She was highly progressive for her day, raising me with even more open-mindedness than my brothers in the 70s and 80s. She ingrained in me the right to choose what life I wanted without any external pressure. Her words to me were always, “I love you dearly and have done all I can for you, however don’t feel obligated to experience the same hardships of childbirth and parenting that I did.”

The best gift my mother ever gave me was that she never defined my role for me.

DO YOU CHOOSE NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN OF YOUR OWN?

I had multiple reasons for not having children. I wanted to give to the world through being an educator, mentor, and teacher, as well as founding projects. Additionally, I inherited bad bones from my grandmother and mother and had already gone through 10 surgeries by the time I was 40. Having osteoarthritis and misalignment syndrome put me off of carrying extra weight and enduring childbirth.

WHAT MAKES A BOOK ABOUT MOTHERS SO RELEVANT TODAY?

I wrote this book during COVID-19, when there was no vaccine and we couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was in Hawaii and was really worried that I would never see my mother again.